Useful Tips

How to build a relationship - 17 rules


Have you ever felt that your partner is not listening to you? Have you ever repeated something to him several times? Or maybe your chosen one expresses concern that he does not understand whether you are listening to him or not? It has long been known that there is no communication - no relationship. The ability to communicate effectively with your loved one is the basis of happiness and health, as well as strong love relationships. So have you ever thought that it’s time to establish communication in a relationship? Do you feel like you cannot reach out to him or does your partner say that you are not listening to him? There are steps you can take right now to improve communication between the two of you. With their help, you can dramatically improve your relationship and establish a stable and happy relationship with your loved one.

1. Be in communication “with” your loved one

The first step to communicate more successfully with your partner is to be really there when you are with each other. In other words, it's time to switch your attention from the phone and turn off the TV so that you and your lover can really focus on each other and on the thoughts you express. In the end, you constantly look at your phone, watch a video or think about a project at work. Not surprisingly, during a conversation one of you may feel unheard and unhappy. On the other hand, the desire to be together at this moment and free yourself from distractions and interruptions can instantly increase your connection and communication with each other.

2. Pay attention not only to words

If you want to improve your communication with your partner, it is also important to pay close attention not only to what he says, but also to how he says it.

For example, what is his body language? Are his arms crossed? What is his tone when he speaks to you? Does he sound optimistic and positive or upset and disappointed? When your goal is to improve communication in a relationship, paying attention to how he expresses himself, this may tell you further on what is on his mind.

3. To improve communication in a relationship, stop interrupting it

An additional key component of improving communication in a relationship is to refrain from interrupting each other. In fact, you usually cut off your loved one in the middle of the sentence. Perhaps you interrupt him with your own thoughts, ideas and proposals before he finishes the thought. In this case, none of you will really be heard. It is better if you allow your partner to fully express and complete your thoughts and wait until he finishes. Answering him in time, you can have a harmonious dialogue with each other. In a word, it's time to stop interrupting each other and start listening.

4. Work on your speaking skills

Speaking of listening, another key way to improve your communication with your boyfriend is to wait before answering him. So you can fully understand what you were told. Don't be afraid to rephrase and ask clarifying questions about what he said. This way you can better understand your loved one. In other words, it is necessary to ensure in this way the same understanding of what is said. By doing this you will prevent many conflicts, misunderstandings and confusions in the future.

In a word, if you are not sure of something that your partner has expressed, it is clearly in your interests to clarify this.

5. Open to a partner

Another step towards improving your communication in a relationship is to be open and honest with your partner. In fact, being open to your boyfriend and being able to fully express your hopes, dreams and fears is the foundation of effective communication. And if you do not want or are not able to say what is really on your mind, then your relationship will remain on a superficial level. That's because you close yourself from your beloved and build walls between you. However, when you decide to be frank, open and emotionally free, your communication and connection with the guy will improve along with your shared love.

Information about how important communication in relationships is and how to improve your communication was useful to you? Share this article with your acquaintances and friends, because they may also need help and these tips.

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Rule 11 - Know how to say no!

You should not constantly indulge in the absurd demands of your spouse. If your soulmate, for example, requires you to report on each step taken, outside of his or her presence, then you do not have to satisfy this desire. No need to feed other people's flaws, such as fear and paranoia. You should not think that by denying your husband or wife something deeply unpleasant to you, you will lose his love and respect. On the contrary, this is how you preserve and demonstrate your own independence, the presence of your will and your desires.

Rule 12- Keep a balance between time spent together and the independence of each partner

Try not to impose yourself excessively on your partner. Leave him room for independence. You should not try to control his every step and strive to fill all the time with being close to him. I understand that this advice is difficult to adhere to those who see the meaning of life only in their love for one person. But the annoying desire to limit other people's freedom can meet the resistance and rejection of your partner. In order not to feel painful attachment to your husband or wife, learn to spend time alone with yourself. After all, there should be a place in relationships for loneliness and for your personal affairs. Find what you like, brings joy, what you can do and get carried away when your partner is not around. Do not reduce your whole life only to your relationships, expand the horizons of your hobbies and activities!

But at the same time, concern for their own independence should not develop into licentiousness and ignoring relations. Yes, on the one hand, you should not try to spend all the time in each other's arms, but also you should not neglect the care of relationships and the attention that you can pay to your spouse. And there is no need to endure the fact that your half does not pay attention to you at all. How to find a balance?

Meetings should not be too rare if you have a serious relationship, but at the same time, you don’t have to see each day, unless, of course, both of them want to. If your husband sometimes meets with friends, with work partners, then this is not a big deal, he should have his own life. But if it grows into everyday activities after work, when he does not see you anyway, then this is already a step beyond. In general, there can be no exact recommendations on how not to cross the line between the imposition and the right to independence. You need to rely on your wisdom. Remember, the devil lives in extremes!

Rule 13 - Do Not “Play Chamomile”

"Everything is so good with us, he is wonderful and caring, but it seems to me that my strong feelings for him have disappeared." Of the fact of lack of feelings, people often make a big problem.

Do not take the weakening of feelings as a symptom of the fact that there are problems in the relationship and you need to take some measures. Do not become attached to feelings, because they are temporary and unstable. Passion and strong love pass, such is the nature of man. Even when they appear in a relationship, they are not permanent: either they exist, then they don’t exist, then you feel a certain rush of tenderness towards your partner, but at another moment, listening to yourself, you understand that these feelings do not exist.

If you put such an unreliable and unstable thing as feelings at the heart of your relationship, then your relationship will become just as unreliable and unstable. It’s the same as building only wind power stations in one country. The weather is very variable, so the supply of cities with electricity will be very unstable.

I'm not saying that you need to completely neglect emotions. You just should not see in them the only criterion for your relationship. Do not get attached to them. If your husband is really caring and sensitive, if everything is fine with you, then you should not constantly play chamomile and try to arouse feelings in yourself. So, on the contrary, you will attract tension and doubts that will interfere with any emotions. Therefore, relax, enjoy the relationship, stop thinking about it, and then the feelings will come on their own, and then again will leave, then to return. After all, they are as unpredictable elements as the wind!

And perhaps you, relaxed, will understand that feelings have always been there, just behind your desire for strong emotions, for unbridled passion, you have already forgotten how to distinguish softer emotions. The abundance of bright sensual colors at the beginning of a relationship can distort your eyesight, so that for a while you cease to see calm tones.

The same may apply to your expectations from a partner. Do not expect him to be always in love with Romeo. His feelings are just as fickle as yours. Make allowance for the fact that men are generally more restrained in expressing their feelings than women.

Rule 14 - Learn Diplomacy

I am sure that many of those who read this article are faced with the problem that they would like to positively influence their partner, but this does not work out for them. Your partner does not pay attention to you or has flaws that he doesn’t want to correct, and you can’t set him on the right path. You are concerned about your relationship and you have a very noble desire to correct them. I think that those who are used to letting things go by themselves are unlikely to read about how to fix